In the year 2000...- Chardonnay will replace beer as the preferred Steeler tailgate beverage
- Guy Junker will unveil his own line of mock turtlenecks
- Pittsburgh Riverhounds move to Wilmerding, change their name to the Dongs
- People will realize that Penn State is not local and their teams shouldn't be treated as such
- Construction of Heinz Field stops after archaeologists discover the remains of Barry Foster
- Jerome Lane will break his neighbors garage hung backboard on a dare
- An 11 year old hockey phenom in Nova Scotia will visit the Eastern Canada Penguin Reserve
- Flying cars
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