Buccos skipper to grounds crew: "Skip the bases, we won't be needing those"

In an unprecedented move the Pirate Management Team (PiMaT) has instructed its grounds crew to not install bases for its upcoming home stand. According to GM David Littlefield "Avoiding base installation should really help out our pitchers. We're running into some teams with a little bump in their bat and this should help slow them down...when you lose it's a rough racket, nobody like to lose".

Buccos turn corner, discover cause of 12 year drought: Lanny

At the conclusion of the previous, 12th consecutive losing season for the Buccos, GM David Littlefield embarked on an intensive scientific explanation for the cause of the team's unrelenting woes, a search that involved months of computer algorithms at the University of Pittsburgh's supercomputing center. The answer, printed out on a 3 inch piece of calculator tape: "Lanny Fratere. GM David Littlefield: "The computer confirmed what we had all come to believe, that the one constant in the Buccos decades long misery was Mr. Fratere. Lanny was given his pink slip this morning. Myron Cope will fill in as interim announcer until a permanent replacement can be found".

Response to "anonymous"

"anonymous" had posed the question "Are there any concept drawings of the Beagle Barge yet"? First of all thanks for your question. Second, to answer your question, while there are not any concept drawlings PSR has obtained the following architectural renderings of the project. The following photos were obtained during a presentation being made to City of Pittsburgh mayoral candidate Bill Peduto last evening. As for your question on the upscale coffee bar we hear that Uni-Mart is among the bidders to provide concessions which would include their signature "3and9" blend. Please click on the pictures for a more detailed view.

Local Sushi Boom Lures All-Pro Linebacker

Our sources have reported that former Steeler and All-Pro linebacker Chad Brown is headed back to Pittsburgh. When asked why he shunned Seattle's last offer of a 1 year $1,000,000 contract in favor of Pittsburgh's 1 year $700,000 deal he simply responded "It's all about the sushi.....period! When I left town in 1997, I made sure that everyone knew that I was leaving because I couldn't get the food I needed to be a dominant force in the NFL. To me sushi is the equivalent of what spinach is to Popeye." It appears that Pittsburgh has wised up to the sushi trend and has recently seen a boom in these types of restaraunts. Apparently that is all Chad needed to hear.

Riverhound Stadium deal in the works

The Pittsburgh Riverhounds, now know as "Riverhounds FC" are closing in on a deal with Allegheny County that would put them in their own soccer-specific stadium by the year 2007. The stadium referred to in preliminary designs as "The Beagle Barge" would seat 75,000 and will be located on a floating vessel that would patrol the Allegheny, Monongahela, and Ohio Rivers. When asked about the project County Chief Executive Dan Onorato stated "This is a deal that the whole county can get behind, the floating stadium is an ingenious idea. Imagine if you will the 'Beagle Barge' floating down the Mon stopping to host a match between the Braddock PeeWee CornerKickers and Fox Chapel United. This is another way that I'm bringing the communities of the county together. I've always been known as a uniter, not a divider". It is unclear how the barge will produce revenue for the County as the Riverhouds currently only draw a few dozen fans per game but City of Pittsburgh mayor Tom Murphy is fully behind the barge, pledging to raise the city parking tax to 700% to help fund this ambitious project.

Leyland on his way back?

From a well placed source within the Pirate organization:
With the firing of Lloyd McClendon imminent the Pirates have contacted the agent of former Bucco skipper Jim Leyland. Supposedly the job is Leyland's if he wants it. The Pirates will offer an average Major League manager salary. A sticking point in negotiations may be a demand by Leyland that he be permitted to smoke in the dugout. The Pirates have countered saying that Leyland could smoke on visits to the mound but smoking in the dugout would violate City of Pittsburgh ordinances.

Mildthings???

The Washington Wildthings are feeling pressure from citizens groups who feel that the teams nickname is offensive. Replacement names under management consideration include:
-The Washington Generals
-The Warshington Lil' Yinzers
-The Washington JAZZ
-The Washington South Pittsburgh Yokels