Thursday, April 19, 2007

2007 PNC Park Preview

Being the media moguls that we are, the staff of PSR was invited to an exclusive event at PNC Park to kick off the 2007 season. As you may have seen on the local news this event previewed new concessions such as the Bucco Taco as well as showcasing giveaways and special events. The local news can only go so far so we at PSR are going to tell you about other items of interest making their debut at PNC Park this season.
Parrot Poon Alley - Meet your favorite Liberty Avenue Lady of the Night
The Swashbuckler Salad - Lettuce marinated in rum, rotten tomatoes, M&Ms, served with Iron City dressing
Duffy Dog - You get you the bun but the hot dog is in Arizona
Littlefield Leftovers - Stadium fare from other MLB parks reheated in a $50million microwave oven
K-Mart K Nights - When your Buccos strike out you win. 5% (up to 50%) off of Martha Stewart products with every Pirate whiff.
Operation Shutdown Bobblehead Night - Derrick Bell bobbling on his custom made bus
Bill Hillgrove Nights - Every Thursday is a Bill Hillgrove night. PA announcer will announce the wrong batter, balls will be counted as strikes and strikes as balls on the scoreboard, Nikolai Volkoff will sing the Russian national anthem, and the first 5,000 fans will receive a poster featuring a copy of Jerome Bettis' birth certificate giving us further proof that he is from Detroit

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"Tommy John" Surgery to be renamed


According to JAMA: The Journal of the American Medical Association, the procedure known affectionately as Tommy John surgery, named after a major league picture who first received the pioneering treatment, will be renamed David Littlefield surgery. Orthopedic shoulder and elbow specialist Dr. Omar Moreno explains "We owe Mr. Littlefield a debt of gratitude for all he has done our profession, over the last five years the Pirate organization has provided us with sixty-four blown out elbows to practice our trade on, David Littlefield is more than worthy of this acknowledgment". In a related item, with the news that 2006 first round selection Brad Lincoln will be going under the knife, Pirate Management will now require all pitchers selected in the amateur draft to receive the David Littlefield surgery prior to assignment to a minor league club. "We're stopping the problem before it develops" says Littlefield "We as an organization have to be conscious of the health of our players, a technical term for what we are doing is 'preventative medicine'. You may want to get used to that phrase, it will replace 'We Will' as the team marketing slogan after the All-Star break"